There is a lot of advice out there for married couples. Shops are lined with books on how to help, save, better, ect.. your marriage. I am sure all of it to one extent or another has applicable advice that would be beneficial.
Right now Sweets and I are in the newness phase still, everything is perfect and exciting and wonderful. I am not so naiive to think that this will last forever though. Of course, it is God’s will for our marriages to be joyful and wonderful and represent Him well. We will have struggles, disagreements and other issues over the years. I am thankful that we are both realistic enough to acknowledge this and also to plan for it to some degree as best we can right now, ahead of time.
One of those ways (and some of the best advice I have heard) was directly from my husband. The one thing he always made clear was important for our marriage was that “No Matter What, we always speak respectfully to and about each other.”
He said that sarcasm over time slowly breaks down people’s spirits and the relationship and that it has no place in marriages. At first I thought he was over emphasizing this a bit too much, but as I now spend a bit more time and activities with other couples I totally understand what he is saying and agree 100% . I hear other couples “joke” about being chained to the other, or things like “I wish they would leave but …still here” It sounds so negative, almost mean. I heard it right away, it made me cringe and sad for the other person. It was this week that I clearly saw the significance of what Sweets was saying.
I was talking to a newly engaged couple who have been together for two years. There were jabs and sharp comments to and about each other in the midst of our only 15 min chat. At this time when they should be the most excited and joyful for their union, already they make comments about being sick of the other or not being able to get away. I know they are joking and I assume they are looking forward to the wedding, but the point is that if they are already in the habit of wounding the significance of the other or the relationship in casual conversation what happens when they aren’t as happy or are disappointed or whatever? Yikes.
Sweets and I left that conversation re-vowing never to speak in a similar manner. Always speak highly and praise your spouse, even when you have grounds to criticize. There is a time and place to speak to them about change but in front of others where you can make them look/feel diminished or inadequate is not a good place or practice for a marriage (or any relationship really.)
Speak highly and honour the one you have!