Do you ever wonder if a wife’s role in a marriage is more based on societal expectations more than truth and in some cases even more than your husbands expectations?
I do not know if this is right or true or even the case for most marriages, but I have expectations that I have actually placed on myself. Things that I plan to do and expect to do for my husband once we are married (in 70 days!)
I have expressed many of these ideals to Sweets and surprisingly he had hardly thought about let alone expected most of what I told him I felt were my jobs after we married. (things like: cooking him breakfast every morning, making his lunch each day, learning new recipes to cook for him, and making sure that I have at least 2-3 dishes for dinner to name a few.)
I realize that some differences about Sweets may simply be that both of us have been single and living on our own in foreign countries for 7 years. His expectation in a wife may be a little different because of this. But that aside, I still have these images in my mind about what a “good wife” looks like. I wonder if this is typical for newly engaged women, women in general or if we simply do just take on the roles that society dictates makes us “good wives”?
I want to share something that I have read and maybe you can see what I mean. To be sure, I agree with everything I am about to quote. I am striving and working towards this goal. But Sweets disagrees and does not believe that all men have these same expectations on their wives – as women put on themselves and each other.
“I don’t care how liberated you are, when you are married there will always be two arenas that will ultimately be your responsibility: home and children. Even if you are the only one working and your husband stays at home to keep the house and tend the kids, you will still be expected to see that the heart of your home is a peaceful sanctuary – a source of contentment, acceptance, rejuvenation, nurturing, rest, and love for your family. On top of this, you will also be expected to be sexually appealing, a good cook, a great mother, and physically, emotionally and spiritually fit.” (The power of a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian)
It’s a big job for us to take on. I am starting to REALLY see the benefit of the engagement time now! Only 70 days to get my act together?! 🙂