God is a Matchmaker lesson 2

God is a Matchmaker lesson 1

I must have read this book over a dozen times in the couple of months that I had it.

Romans 12:1 says to present our bodies as living sacrifices to God. Surrender makes our bodies holy, the altar makes the sacrifice holy (Matthew 23:19). This therefore applies to your whole body when it is placed on the altar of surrender. Therefore I can be set apart for God and made Holy.

Romans 12:2 God will renew your mind. God will not reveal His secrets or open His treasures to  a mind at enmity with Him. But when your mind is renewed you will begin to discover all that God has planned.

Life Lesson: Do not make my own decisions from now on. I find out God’s decisions and make them mine! God gives His best to those who leave the choice to Him.

Appreciation and thankfulness to God for what He’s done, doing, and going to do! Appreciation is the inward reaction to Gods goodness. Thankfulness is the out ward expression of that appreciation. Be thankful and say so! (Ps. 100:4)

It’s impossible to be selfish and self-centered when you’re giving thanks to God for what only He can do. Get your mind off yourself and on to Him and the hope that you have for a future, a mate, love and marriage will seem strangely dim next to the Glory of the Father shining in your life.

Guidelines:

1. Obeying Gods Word. Psalm 119:105 reminds us that obedience to Gods word will keep us on the path that is leading to Gods plans for my life.

2. Walking in fellowship. 1 John 1:7 lets us know that doing so will allow the blood of Christ to cleanse us from sin. The right kind of fellowship is what God has in mind for our benefit, growth and relationships. (2 Corinthians 6:14-15, Psalm 119:63)

3. Being led by the Spirit. Romans 8:14. Total Dependence on the Holy Spirit, seek His direction in all things big and small. Sensitive ears must be tuned to Him. “Lord help me to be always in the right place at the right time. I pray in the knowledge that only the Holy Spirit can make this happen”. I must be sensitive to Him and how He guides.

4. Guarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23) First discover the mate that God has approved of. Then, release your emotions toward that person to God. That way you wont need to recall the flood if it gets too intense. Avoid fantasy or day dreaming about who this mate may be. It puts God in a box and may not match what He has in mind. (Don’t I  know it!)

5. Waiting on God. (Is 64:4) Waiting tests our faith – only faith that passes the test is accepted by God as genuine. Waiting purifies our motives: (Gods Will or my own?) Waiting also builds character to maturity. A person who has learned to wait is no longer at the mercy of fluctuation moods and emotions.

6. Planning for resurrection John 12:24. The relationship that you believe God for may have to pass through death and resurrection before it is ready to be cultivated.

7. Seeking Godly counsel from those older in years and faith. There is great value in Godly counsel and much can be learned, avoided and rectified by the wisdom provided from trusting servants of the Lord. proverbs 12:15, 15:5

8. Seeking Gods Favour. Proverbs 19:14, 18:22. Gods satisfaction must be your highest ambition. Approach everything with what will please the Lord. ps. 37:4 He will implant  the desires and then fulfill them!

For me number 5 and 8 are the most precious lesson that can be learned. And maturing in these areas will not only bring the best harvest of fruit to our lives, but also prepare us the greatest for being Godly woman and wives for our beloved husbands (to be).

 

God is a Matchmaker lesson 1

God is a Matchmaker

I read this book over the summer before sweets and I started spending time together. I sincerely think it may have been the reason I was ready for him when the opportunity presented itself…..again! Up until I read this book I was still closed to what God may have had in mind and simply kept to my own vision and plans.

After reading this book my whole thoughts on marriage began to change.  I started to pray for Gods will instead and asked Him to open me up to His plan. Once I prayed that, with my whole heart in sincerity, God answered that very prayer and I saw sweets as a totally different man standing before me.

The seven basic principles that Derek Prince describes in his book: (my notes are in green)

1. God initiated marriage at the beginning – not Adam and Eve Note that God was the one who said a suitable helper for Adam could not be found (Genesis 2:20)

2. Decision to marry is from God not man God was the one who caused the deep sleep to fall upon Adam. (Genesis 2:21)

3. God knew the kind of helper man needed – not man God knew a beast was not the best helper for Adam but one made bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. (Genesis 2:23)

4. God prepared the woman for the man God took the rib from Adam and made he woman. (Genesis 2:21) A woman’s time  as a single should be spent preparing for Godliness and marriage, not searching, worrying or moping around.

5. God presented the woman to the man and brought her unto the man. (Genesis 2:22) God set the whole thing up. He prepared the woman, and when she was ready God Himself placed her in the right place at the right time for the two of them to meet. When Adam looked at Gods choice all he could say was “Wow man!” He was pleased!

6. God ordained the purpose of their life  – which is unity and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24) God had a purpose in uniting Adam and Eve. He has a purpose still in all He does. God is not bored and He is not wasteful of anything or anyone. He will always have a purpose in the things He does. God will still have a purpose in the marriages of today.

7. Jesus upheld God’s original plan for marriage as binding on all those who follow him.  It is still enforced today. Jesus reminds them that Gods Word in Genesis is still the marriage standard to live by. (Matthew 19:4-6) God has not changed His mind! He still has this ideal in mind to unite and join together into one Flesh. For earth to represent the heavenly union between Christ and His bride. (Ephesians 5:32)

Once I began to understand this and meditate on the Gods words in regards to the creation of man and woman; I clearly could see that my reasons for wanting to marry had nothing to do with what would Glorify the Lord the most, but only what I wanted and what I thought I needed to be happy.

I was running around trying to find my mate instead of allowing God to both prepare me and present me to the one who is in need of my help.

I believe this is why so much of the time we can see couples marrying mates that hold strengths where their mate holds weakness. God is all about balance and unity.

When Paul talks about being yoked it paints the picture of working together with a common goal or purpose. That helps me understand how I am to work with my husband for the common goal and purpose that the Lord has for us to do while we are here. (Ephesians 2:10)

*For more thoughts on Ephesians 2:10*

God is a Matchmaker lesson 2

Commit to Submit

This has been my slogan for sometime now. Its catchy isn’t it? 🙂

The Lord put this on my heart months before I even met him.  I bought a book called Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray. It was excellent, I highly recommend it! Its short and sweet but packed full of good Biblical advice. I knew there were issues in my heart about surrendering to God. I had my plans after all!

As I began to get things right with God in this area and learned to surrender to Him more frequently, easily and naturally I felt that He began to talk to me about my ability to submit.

This word has always rubbed me the wrong way. Especially as I have been single for all the years of my adult life. I moved to Japan on my own, got a great job, and take care of myself  in everything. I depend on no one except the Lord; and He more than takes care of me! Submission is not natural for me.

The very word made me cringe. But I do know that if I ever want to be someone’s wife than I need to learn this because it’s the way the Lord planned out our roles in a marriage.

Let me clarify for a second because so many people do not understand submission at all. Most think it’s a negative word and even Christians I know look at it from a negative perspective. But this is God’s Word! We must understand it in the context and the way HE intended it, not the way our society has turned it around into trash talk.

As a woman God calls us to submit to our husband. ( Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians 3:18-19)Now this of course would be MUCH easier to do with a loving, Godly man as head of your household.
That means that he will be hearing from the Lord to make excellent decisions for you and the family as best as he can. It also means that he will always have your best interests in mind when decisions need to be made.

This however does not mean he’s perfect. Nor does it mean he always will make the best decisions. This is where Godly submission comes in. It is our job as a the wife to support and encourage our husband even if we don’t totally agree with his decision. telling him off, belittling him and reminding him of his mistakes is not submission – its sabotage.

Now another thing to clarify: Submission to the husband does not exclude the wife. God has designed her in such a way that the man needs her. This is the whole purpose. All the wisdom, instincts and discernment that God has given her is for the benefit of the husband, for her to be his helper. Meaning he NEEDS help! Truly, a godly husband would not think to make any decision without the counsel of his wife.  She is extremely valuable to his well being and honestly if he trusts her then any decision in which the wife is against for any reason should be reconsidered and prayed about thoroughly. However there will definitely be times when a decision will need to be made and one person will have to make the “executive decision” for the family. I am so thankful that I waited for Gods blessing in this because I can fully trust my man to make God driven decisions. There are things that I may not want to do but if he feels that’s the way God wants us to do, I can put my feelings and emotions aside and support my husband knowing he seeks only my ultimate best, and God’s Ultimate Glory.

Girls: I can not encourage you enough to wait for a mighty man of God. Wait for the one He can bless. When God is blessing your union there will be nothing that is beyond His control to fix, work out and intervene in. A union that welcomes and invites the Lord to be the Head will be nothing short of a worldly example of Christ’s marriage to us the church.

 

A not-so-Love-Story (Part 2)

A not-so-Love-Story Part 1

June 2012

I never heard from sweets again after that until June 2012. He asked me to meet him for dinner and I did, it was so nice! The next week he asked me to….. Ok here it is the BIG test….

He asked me to help him clean his house because he was moving. Seriously. It actually happened.

But I did! haha I don’t even know why I agreed to it. It was the most absurd thing I had been asked but I went, and it was fun! Shortly after that I offered him a summer teaching  job at my school. Then God really took over.

The teaching  job was at the elementary school but I teach at the pre-school. So that means I would see him at most a few minutes a week..if that. So it was safe to offer him the job. He had no plans that summer and wanted to earn  money while he was off work. We needed a teacher for two months.

God totally had that thing worked out! It just so happened that for a number of reasons the school decided that I also needed to take my preschool class to the elementary school and teach the summer classes there along with my own class for the next two months. That put us as the only two teachers at the school! Prepping together, having meetings together and spending quite a bit of time together. It was also a great time for him to see what I am all about – MY KIDS! I have no idea why God is so gracious that way to have worked that out the way He did, but I will ever be thankful and in awe at the way He just simplifies things like this!

He and I met for dinner most evenings after work, we had dates and walks, many walks each evening for hours we would talk and walk around the city.

Then on August 13th Sweets asked me to be his GF. I seriously thought he was going to break up with me. I expected it and could tell he wanted to chat. I braced myself for the …”its been nice but I can just see that your not what I’m looking for.” But instead he asked me to be his GF! I was really excited and shocked! I just couldn’t believe it!

September 2012 We bought plane tickets to go back to North America and meet the families. We will spend 9 days in MO and 5 days in Canada. I am extremely nervous about Christmas morning with his family but so very excited to meet his family, friends and see where he is from.

Since then we have been going strong, walking, and talking and pouring our hearts out. Learning about each other and figuring out this whole relationship thing.

We speak about marriage often, and if God’s willing, I have already decided to give my heart to this man…. if he feels lead in the same way. So this blog is my preparation curriculum! I will be studying so much to prepare and become the best wife that I can be. I have so much to learn and I know that after the wedding there will be even more to learn and study!

A not-so-Love-Story (Part 1)

He found me. I will always say it that way. For a number of reasons this is fitting. For starters the bible is packed full of verses referring to a man “finding a good wife” ect.. So on the surface it’s how God writes it anyhow. But for me its much more than that. I was lost. (Not physically!) but I was lost in love and relationships. I was wandering around hopeless and aimless. He found me.

Also when we met.. I was definitely not looking for him…the story isn’t nearly as amusing without the background, but basically I moved to Japan a few years ago, fell in love with the country, and my new life here and I was looking for love to tack on to that. I wanted my current life +1.
But being in Japan and wanting to stay here…indefinitely I was looking for J-Love! I planned to marry a Japanese guy, get my permanent visa, and have little half-J babies! It was a great dream!

March 27th 2012 Sweets and I met at a friends b-day party. I saw him when my friend and I walked in. He had a handsome face, I noticed it. But I was NOT thinking past that. I should get Sheila on here to tell the story… she saw it all and I was totally oblivious to it.

Anyhow, I was talking to other people – he was listening. A few minutes later he suddenly interrupted the conversation to confirm if I was a Christian. I said I was and he started to chat with me a bit. Basic stuff. I didn’t even notice really.  He told me about teaching at the Christian school and I was interested to hear about THE STUDENTS! haha but needless to say at the end of the day he asked me for a date and my number.

I was NOT wanting to give it to him. This was like a detour for me, a waste of both our time, after all I was going to be marrying a J-boy and so why on earth would I need to give my number or have dinner with a white boy?!

Sheila made me give my number. She did. I was trapped between his request and her jabbing me and glaring at me.

We had our dinner date April 1st 2010. It was TERRIBLE! No Joke. (At least for me).

To begin he brought me to a Japanese restaurant. (I don’t eat that much Japanese food) Our conversation was bland and forced. After dinner we went for a coffee and though that was maybe the “nicest” part, when the night was getting to an end he quickly said good-bye and practically ran across the street as fast as he could.

Of course that was the beginning and the end. I never intended to hear from him again, and if I did I never intended to be free because clearly that was the worst date I should ever have to endure, and I would be silly to want to do that again!

He never called. No big shocker.

January 2011…..

We met again, with the same mutual friends it was bound to happen. We chatted briefly. He said “we should meet up sometime” I said “been there done that”.

September 2011….I started Japanese school. Sweets was there! “Oh geesh!” I thought, and then we would chat between classes and have short conversations. I was in a “relationship” with a nice J-boy so I definitely was NOT even considering him as a possibility. (J-boy and I ended this same month)

November 2011 we went to dinner with some classmates. It was fun but …. he’s American! I started praying more diligently for the right Christian J-boy.

December 2011 He sent me a Christmas card from America. It made me confused but smile. I tossed it out around the end of January but apparently I changed my mind as I still have it! I do remember vaguely having this “just in case thought” but I kept my prayers on my J-plan and didn’t give God any other option at that point.

January 1st 2012 we spent new years day together. Had lunch and went to karaoke it was tons of fun!! That night at church I wrote my new years prayers and thanks to God for an awesome year (we write them every new yrs’ Sunday and then read them the following year to see what God has done in our lives and the prayers we were expecting for the year ect..) I wrote mine, then put it in the box…then took it out and wrote a small little side note add-on to it documenting that Sweets and I had hung out that day and I wanted to document it “just in case”.

June 2012: I never heard from him again after that until June 2012. He asked me to meet him for dinner and I did, it was so nice! The next week he asked me to….. Ok here it is the BIG test….

a not-so-Love-Story Part 2